Initial Conditions

So after denouncing facebook as nothing but evil propaganda, I have come back. To date only 2 people know why I left in the first place and my return is not necessarily an indicator that these issues have finished.

Still, I decided to come back on a trial basis to see if I could stop overdramatising my being there in the first place and spending inordinate amounts of time on it. Then I can tell you if three months of cold turkey works..

Time to write something of substance..

A while ago, couple of friends and I were chatting over lunch, and somehow we got to chatting about the concept of soulmates, or more accurately, if such things existed. Spookily, there was a Simpsons episode on the other night about Homer having a trip and being told by Jonny Cash to find his soulmate, but that’s just a coincidence.

The word “soulmate” conjures up in me an image of two lonely souls marooned in the same part of space and time, who discover they have some kind of connection, an unspoken bond that has somehow led them to each other.

Perhaps it’s not really what the word is intended to get, but I guess that that is the most romantic definition. Or it is according to Jonny Cash in any case.

If I’m honest, I’m very sceptical on the whole concept. I can’t really put my finger on why.

One thing is for sure though, sometimes the right person does come along at the right time for many people. And for many people, the right person never comes. Someone has just said to me that this is because they might have been anti-social or not tried hard enough, but I think this may be a little unfair.

Anyway, three things can happen:

1) Everyone has a “perfect” person

2) Some people have a “perfect” person

3) Noone has a “perfect” person

Questions remain:

For 1) Why do some people never find anyone? Are they all really anti-social people or people who don’t try hard enough? Is it really helpful to say to them “God wants you to be single, so be happy”?

2) People don’t like to be lonely. Assuming the perfectly matched couples all find eachother, the unmatched ones, will naturally pair off. Surely God never intended marriage to be on a “make-do” basis?

3) Why do some couples seem so right for each other?

I guess some of the arguments here are overly simplistic, or perhaps just plain wrong (it is two thirty in the morning after all), but anyway, I’m simply trying to use this as a spark to ask what you guys out there in blogland think of this?

Personally, I think that, from an earthly standpoint, there is a “sliding scale” of compatibility (rather than a 0 or 1 scale). It’s never my place to judge anyone else’s relationships, but I know in my own experience that I would be a lot more compatible with some than others. But then again, I could be wrong, and would be more than happy to be.

It’s perhaps a little unhelpful to believe there is a perfect person out there for you. After all, nobody is perfect. Even my parents have their issues, minor as some of them may be. I bet even Mary and Joseph’s house in Nazereth wasn’t confrontation free (but then again, lesser men than Joseph would have baulked at the idea of Mary getting pregnant via the Holy Spirit.. perhaps in the end it’s all a question of free will versus Divine preordination). I prefer to leave it as “I am a relational being. I have a desire to get married, so I shall assume I will at some point but not now”, since lingering over these issues is not terribly constructive.

Anyway I will close here, and apologise for the apparent randomness of my thoughts. Let me know what you think.

Actually this year I’m not going to rant. There’s only so much you can complain, so I’ll not be doing much of that this year. If you are interested in my various rants on this issue, they can be found on the internet somewhere. Probably.

Besides, I don’t really hate it any more. Not because I have somehow managed to get caught by Clinton Cards and turned into a sales drone, but more because I don’t feel that there’s any point. I’m not Welsh, but I don’t hate Saint David’s day, I’m not Jewish, and I don’t hate Chanukkah. I’m not in a relationship, so why should I hate a celebration that’s not aimed at me?

I imagine a reason that a lot of single people resent it is because they feel that they are being forced to sit and watch while those who have found a significant other have a great time (I didn’t like it for different reasons, which I’ll go into next), but this argument falls down, because, really, no-one’s making them sit and watch. My flatmates had the good grace tonight to go out with their girlfriends and channel five is showing football. Brilliant.

See, the more you tune into it, the more you are likely to be irritated by it (which begs the question as to why I’m writing about it- maybe I’m just some blog-based hypocrite) and perhaps the key is to just let it be as it’s something that’s gonna happen anyway like it or not.

I think people who are actually in relationships have more reason to dislike it. The reason it makes me kind of uneasy is that it creates un unnatural occasion on which couples are expected to celebrate their relationship. So adding to whatever anniversaries we have this extra day imposed on everyone that can cause a great deal of tension. Again though, it’s there, so there isn’t really a great deal can be done about it.

So really my conclusion is that it’s best to ignore it.

(This was going to be much better, but I got whisked away to the pub at the last minute- I’ll write up my other thoughts at a later date)

I’ve left facebook. Ignorance is, as they say, bliss. I’ll edit this post later when I feel like writing more…