I’ve been in Scotland for 7 years now, and never cease to be surprised as to how many people haven’t been taught properly about what Northern Ireland is and what it is not (it never ceases to amaze me how many people don’t think it’s part of the UK!). Hence, here is are a few facts that should inform you. It should be noted that these are the facts, and I’m not trying to push any particular political agenda.

1. Northern Ireland is part of the United Kingdom. The name of the country is “the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland”. Hence, the currency is the pound sterling (albeit with slightly different banknotes due to different issuing banks), you don’t need a passport to get there from England, Scotland or Wales, and the head of state is Queen Elizabeth II. Radio 1 Newsbeat seemed unaware of this when they said “the Real IRA does not want Northern Ireland to become part of the UK”.

2. Northern Ireland, while on the island of Ireland, is NOT part of the state called Ireland (often called “Eire” or “Republic of Ireland”  or even just “the south” in unofficial speak). However, under the terms of 1998’s Good Friday agreement, people born in Northern Ireland are entitled to Irish passports as well as British, though many people choose not to invoke this right.

3. Northern Ireland and Ulster are not the same thing, though the two seem to be synonymous these days. The island of Ireland was traditionally divided into four provinces (Ulster, Munster, Leinster, Connaught, which exist now only on a few levels, mostly sporting). The province of Ulster contains 9 counties, including all six Northern Ireland counties. The remaining three, Donegal, Cavan and Monaghan, are in the Irish republic. Hence Shay Given, born in County Donegal, can call himself an Ulsterman (though he probably wouldn’t).

4. Northern Ireland has a devolved government, the seat of which is situated on Stormont Hill in East Belfast. Each of the 18 constituencies elects 6 members to serve in the Northern Ireland Assembly, which has limited power to enact laws in Northern Ireland (at a lower level than the Scottish Government). Occasionally, it gets suspended after various political collapses, but it seems to be doing ok just now.

5. Northern Ireland’s official flag is the Union Flag. The Ulster banner was technically discontinued in 1973, but is still used semi-offically by the Northern Ireland football team (and for other, less innocent purposes) as a unique identifier.

6. Football is governed by the Irish Football Association, whereas confusingly in Eire it is covered by the Football Association of Ireland! As far as I know, the only major sports or events that don’t have a unified Ireland team are football and Commonwelath games.

7. The capital of Northern Ireland is Belfast. Famous people and things from there include (but are not limited to) CS Lewis, George Best, Lord Kelvin (off of units of temperature), Van Morrison, the Titanic and Samson and Goliath, the Harland and Wolff cranes.

8. Northern Ireland’s only UNESCO World Heritage Site can be found at the Giant’s Causeway on the North Coast. It’s possibly also the windiest place in Europe.

9. Newtownards is objectively better than Bangor.

10. The tractor was invented in Northern Ireland, by County Down man Harry Ferguson.

11. My flatmate says that Fish and Chips he had in Bangor were “the best he ever had”

12. Local delicacies include Dulse, Yellowman, Veda, Soda and potato bread, Tayto crisps (try the cheese and onion!), Spelga yoghurt, Cookstown Sausages and Maud’s Ice Cream.

13. We didn’t have Tesco, Safeway, Asda or Sainsbury’s until 1997(ish). Prior to that we had Stewart’s and Wellworths, one of which had a low-price brand called yellow pack (like Tesco Value). I always remember being disappointed when Mum brought that stuff home.

14. There are three train lines- Belfast- Londonderry/Derry, Belfast- Larne, Bangor-Portadown via Belfast. This line continues on to Dublin. If you live anywhere else, you have to make do with Ulsterbus. And by “make do”, I mean suffer.

15.Lough Neagh is the biggest Freshwater lake in the UK.

So there you go, if you want to know anything else, ask me or look up wikipedia!

So this weekend there’s the first round of World Cup qualifiers, in Europe anyway, so I thought I’d give my predictions for the home nations, Ireland and selected other matches. Here goes:

Andorra v England: It’s easy to predict an away win here, but that’s exactly what I am going to do. Andorra have actually won a World Cup qualifier in the past (beating Macedonia in the 2006 edition) but England, despite their current woes, have too much quality and are likely to get a very physical game from one of the dirtiest sides in Europe. England will win comfortably, but games against these sort of teams don’t tell you much about how good your team is. Steve McLaren’s England were booed at half time as it was 0-0 last year, but that shouldn’t happen again.

Prediction: 0-4, with Andorra to be reduced to ten men. Or less.

Fact: Andorra’s stadium only holds 1500 people, which is why this game is being played in Barcelona’s Olympic Stadium

Macedonia v Scotland: Macedonia are the sort of team that can ruin your campaign, without being in any actual danger of qualifying themselves. They stopped Ireland qualifying for Euro 2000 with a last minute equaliser and England have failed to beat them at home twice in recent years. Coupled with Scotland’s knack of dropping points to lower ranked Eastern European sides (Georgia, Lithuania, Moldova etc), this is a tricky start for Burley’s men, particularly since there a less games and less room for error. Macedonia didn’t have a great Euro 2008 (they finished above rubbish Estonia and worse Andorra) and will be looking to get their campaign off to a good start. That said, Scotland won’t have the pressure they had against Georgia so should hopefully be a bit less retentive. But I think a draw is most likely.

Prediciton: 1-1

Fact: Macedonia’s biggest ever win was 11-1 away to Liechtenstein in the 98 World Cup.

Georgia v Ireland: Ireland will face Georgia in Germany thanks to the unfortunate political situation there. Georgia played well against Wales in a friendly, but that was Wales and it was a friendly. Not having to go to Tbilisi will be a great relief and it is likely to be a “home” atmosphere for Ireland. Georgia are something of a Jekyll and Hyde team, in that they are capable of very good results (eg beating Russia in Euro 2004 qualifying and Scotland in Euro 2008) but also some very poor ones (2-5 at home to Turkey and 6-1 in Denmark) and it all seems to depend on whether they feel like turning up or not. GIven the situation, I think they will play well out of patriotism, but Trappatoni’s Ireland should be too much. Away win, but only just.

Prediction: 1-2

Fact: Georgia’s first ever match was a 0-1 defeat to Moldova.

Slovakia v Northern Ireland: Ah Northern Ireland. The optimism that comes at the start of a new campaign is usually crushed by an awful performance and 0-3 defeat, and I remain optimistic that this will not happen again. However, our away record is dire. We’ve had two wins in our last 21 away games, and those were against minnows Malta and Liechtenstein. That said, we had good draws in Denmark and Sweden last time around (Sweden being a game we could have won, Denmark not so much), so it’s not as if the spirit is lacking away from Windsor Park. Slovakia are not to be underestimated, as Wales found out to their cost last time (they lost 1-5 in Cardiff although they won 5-2 in Bratislava), but their home form isn’t great (they only beat San Marino and Cyprus last time round). NI will play one up front (Lafferty’s injured) and that only means one thing…

Prediction: 0-0

Fact: Slovakia scored 33 goals in Euro 2008 qualifying, but that wasn’t enough. Because most of those goals were against Wales, Cyprus and San Marino, I would wager.

Wales v Azerbaijan: Wales are okay, Azerbaijan are rubbish, home win, all the way.

Prediction: 2-0
Fact: Azerbaijan’s stadium is named after the linesman that wrongly gave England their third goal in 1966.

Guest games:

Chile v Brazil: Chile are doing okay for themselves since finishing bottom of the South American pile in 2002. They were four points off a playoff place in 2006 and currently lie a point above Brazil in fourth place. Brazil haven’t really clicked thus fair and had some poor results, notably 1-1 in bottom Peru. Dunga is under fierce pressure to get a result here and against Bolivia in four days, and I think that Brazil’s players will be more up for this than they have been, for this reason. And that is why I think they’ll win.

Prediction: 1-3

Fact: Chile were banned from the ‘94 World Cup because their goalie pretended to have been hit by a firework in a 1990 World Cup qualifier by smearing fake blood all over his face. The firework never went anywhere near him.

Cuba v USA: Politically charged encounter that should see the Americans win, and bring back some nice cigars.

Prediction: 0-2

Fact: Americans are not normally allowed to go to Cuba, but the Soccer team has special dispensation to go there in the name of sport

New Caledonia v New Zealand: The Kiwis will progress to the next round, and win the OFC Nations cup if they win this. Which they will.

Prediction: 0-2

Fact: New Zealand played in the 1982 World Cup and lost all three games

Hope you enjoyed that! I’d like to hear any predictions you have for this weekend’s games. I will hopefully get some up for midweek as well.

For about twenty-four hours every time I come home I wonder why I left in the first place.

When you arrive on the plane, you see nothing but miles and miles of farmland, interspersed with towns like Doagh and Ballyclare, then on the road, amongst the “R” drivers you go through nice wee places like Templepatrick where the shops sell Veda bread and the News Letter, past a glorious war memorial perched on Knockagh hill and if you go to far you get to Carrickfergus and its glorious castle.

For a while Edinburgh, PhDs and heart troubles seem so far away and it’s almost like I feel happy. It’s good to be back.

I’ve been listening to NI radio online lately, and one thing that strikes me is that the adverts on the radio seem to be a lot more morbid than you get here.

There’s one I just heard, it has two girls talking to each other one the phone

“Hey Laura I had a great time last night.”
“Me too! I wonder if Gemma snogged that bloke we left her with last night?”
“No idea. I’ve been texting her all day and she hasn’t replied”
“That’s strange.. that’s not like her at all…”

Cut to a voiceover:
“When you’re drinking, stick together. Because when you realise what might have happened, it may be too late.”

Similarly there’s some clips of a man speaking to his mates in the pub

“This is Dave. He sounds okay… but he has problems deep down. Make the first step. Talk to someone.” I’ve never heard an advert like this in Scotland, but it’s perfectly logical as Northern Ireland’s suicide rate is too high for comfort.

And then you have the infamously graphic DOE adverts warning against speeding and drink driving, where the message seems to be “if you speed or drink drive lots of innocent people will die horribly”. The jury is out on whether the shock tactics work (the grim floral memorials on the Belfast-Bangor road are testament to this), but I guess there is only so much one can do.

But when you grow up surrounded by all these things, there’s little wonder NI people often have such a dark sense of humour.

Below is a DoE speeding advert: I advise caution when watching this.