This is a list of the churches I’ve been to most in Edinburgh, in order of frequency of visits. I will stress that this is NOT an indication of quality or anything like that and is unrelated to the post I wrote comparing churches to Premiership teams (which has now been removed. Sorry about that). I’m not counting weddings or CU events except in the case of a tie.

Number of visits may not be correct, but are certainly in the right order of magnitude. Here goes:

1. St Catherine’s Argyle (200+?)

2. Priestfield Church (20)

3. St Paul’s and St George’s (15)

4. Barclay Church (10)

5. Charlotte Chapel (5)

6. St Columba’s (free) (5)

7. Morningside Baptist (1) (it was for a friend’s baptism)

8. Carrubbers (1) (should probably go back. It was the first church I went to in Edinburgh..)

9. Buccleuch Free Church (1)

10. I don’t actually think I’ve been to 10.

I’ve also been in Canongate Kirk for a wedding, St Cuthbert’s for CU Carol services, St Andrew’s and St George’s for the same reason, Augustine United and Edinburgh apostolic for CU prayer nights.

Here’s the top ten NI and Eire churches I’ve been to (which may be wrong). You might spot a theme…

1. Scrabo Presbyterian (Newtownards) (hundreds)

2. Greenisland Presbyterian (less hundreds)

3. St Johnstone Presbyterian (between Letterkenny and Derry in County Donegal) (even less hundreds)

4. Ballylennon Presbyterian (it was twinned with #3) (tens?)

5. Ballyclare Presbyterian

6. Second Comber Presbyterian (where my grandparents used to go and where my parents got married)

7. Cloughey Presbyterian (where my other grandparents went)

8. Regent Street Presbyterian (Newtownards)

9. Strean Presbyterian (Newtownards)

10. Could be anything. Knock Methodist, Belmont Presbyterian, First Comber Presbyterian, First Carrickfergus Presbyterian, Holywood Presbyterian, Donaghadee Presbyterian, LisnabreenPresbyterian, the list is possibly endless…

Looking forward to getting no end of google searches about people researching northern irish churches or churches in edinburgh!

I meant to do this ages ago, but thought I’d put down something “interesting” that was said at the last prayer meeting. The context was that one of the Elders (I don’t actually know if she’s an elder, but I think she is) was introducing things we should pray about with regards to children and young people. Take it away, Mary:

And this brings us on to the creche. Now we have no problems with people manning the creche, but we only have two babies, and it would be good to have more.

Ok thanks, anything else to say?

So please pray for more babies. We do understand that there is a growing 20s and 30s group, so, if you want to, you can help in this regard!

This doesn’t even merit a flippant comment.

Every three weeks it falls upon me to man the PowerPoint at church on Sunday evenings, displaying the words for the people to sing.

This is usually a simple task, but sometimes things go wrong. Usually, they are of the nature that I’m singing along happily to a song and get so engrossed in it that you forget to click the mouse and bring the next verse up. But there are far worse things.

When you come into church an hour before the service starts, the praise leader (hi David and or Claire if you happen to be reading!) will say hi and give me a list of songs that will be sung that night. I’ll find the right songs, and put them together into appropriate medleys so that you can switch from song to song seamlessly.

However, there are some horrors that will provoke that very worst of things to happen: the congregation turning round and looking at you, a sure sign that something has gone horribly, horribly wrong. Here they are:

WRONG SONG: this happens when the praise leader only tells you the first line of a song, and it is not unique. The congregation sings the first line fine then it descends into chaos. They turn round and see you frantically trying to find the right version. I did this on my first ever go and nearly felt like not coming back the next time. How was I to know there were two “I lift my hands”? This is avoided now, because I just ask the David or Claire what the right one is. Job done.

MAIN SCREEN TURN OFF: Sometimes, the remote we use to “mute” the picture decides not to work. So you’re sat at the back trying manically to press this button to turn the screen on and it doesn’t work. You run right under the projector to get an unimpeded run at turning it on. No joy. Meanwhile the band is playing while nobody else has any words to read off. You try one last time to turn it on and it works, halfway through the first verse. Thankfully we have an alternative to the remote now, so these days are gone.

ITUNES INSANITY: Before the service, we play some music over the speakers via iTunes so people can be completative. The guy on sound turns it down, and sometimes, I forget that it’s still playing. Which is why, when I start a DVD (usually provided by a visiting speaker) , you occasionally get a soundtrack of Delerious or Matt Redman accompanying it. Sometimes you can ignore it and pretend it’s just part of the DVD, but mostly you cannot, so everyone can see you, on the screen, sheepishly turning iTunes off.

VISITING SPEAKER: Will occasionally have a slide presentation, and often will not tell you directly when slides have to be changed. This causes confusion when they start referring to a street kid when there’s nothing on the screen but a picture of a Mosque.

But, despite all these problems, it mostly goes trouble-free, and I am pleased to be able to serve in this small, but very important way. Nobody stops to thank you, but to be honest, I wouldn’t want them to anyway.

I’ve (finally!) listened to the sermon I mentioned before in which my blog concerning churches and premier league teams was mentioned.

I have to say, it was kind of good that I heard it, because it highlighted an important issue- my comparing churches to football teams implied that there was some kind of competition between them all.

There is not. As Christians, one of the most important things we have to do is to lift each other up, and encourage eachother along in whatever way is best for us. Every church is different as everybody is different, and your way of realising your relationship with God is not to be compared to anyone else’s. One path, many styles.

1 Thessalonians 5:10-11

He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him.

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

Amen.

If someone had told me a year ago that the pastor at one of Edinburgh’s largest churches had used something I had written in my blog to make an ecclesiological point (been wanting to use that word in a while), I would have thought that I would perhaps have written something really deep and profound, that perhaps revealed something about the nature of God, or about Christian living.

I would, of course have been wrong, as he used my post comparing Edinburgh churches to Premiership teams as an illustration for Christian unity (which has since become my most read post ever), which I thought was a wonderful use of something I and the people I was with when we wrote it really didn’t put a great deal of thought or care into!

The essential point he was making (which I had obviously envisaged..ahem) was that while each church in Edinburgh has its own “personality”, it is important that there be unity among the people of God in this wonderful city, a message I wholeheartedly endorse (thanks to brunettekoala for that précis).

Anyway, if you enjoyed that post, you’ll be able to download the podcast of the sermon when the IT people put it up (in the next couple of days)- search for “morningside baptist” in itunes and you’ll get it there. Unless anyone corrects me, I believe it was the 11AM service from January 11th.

PS thanks also to the seven people who rang, texted, emailed, or posted in my blog saying this had been mentioned. You can stop now

Original post here.

I make a point of taking it easy on sundays but today was no such day. Why? Here is a recap of the last 21 hours:

00:00 Leave Iain Proctor’s house to get home

01:00 Go to sleep

05:15 Wake up for Japanese Grand Prix

07:30 Set alarm for 09:30 to wake up again and go back to sleep

09:30 Alarm remains very much silent. I remain asleep and have a really strange dream which I may or may not recant later

11:36 After several minutes of thinking my alarm is going to go off any time soon, I turn on the radio: 11:36. Late for church. Stress and annoyance levels hit the roof.

11:45 After being really annoyed, I decided I should go to church anyway as the new minister vote was impending and I really wanted to be part of that.

11:50 Arrive shortly after the potential new minister’s sermon started. Luckily had a quiet entrance.

12:30 Church finishes. Election occurs, and minister is chosen by 109 votes to 4 (more on this in a later post). Get invited to dinner by Johanne.

13:00 Leave church and shake the hand of new minister. He saw I was late coming in and I was embarrassed to say my alarm hadn’t gone off. Told him I was lucky he had a lengthy sermon as I caught most of it. Shirked away in embarrassment.

13:15 Still waiting outside for my ride to Johanne’s. Try to call parents, but they are having lunch.

14:00 Arrive at Johanne’s and forget I had to do the Powerpoint at church tonight. Unwind by having a very nice lunch indeed.

15:30 Start to feel very tired indeed. Contemplate falling asleep in their spare room.

16:00 Alarm goes off reminding me that I was to do Powerpoint. Get annoyed by the fact that alarms seem to be picking and choosing whether it decides to go off. Parents then call apologising for earlier. No particularly great revelations from me or them.

17:00 Get informed that the guy leading worship at church tonight is likely to use his own songs i.e. ones that are not already pre-typed on the system. That equals much preparation to do before the service, and probably not enough time to do it in time for a 18:30 kick-off

17:15 Arrive at church. The Korean church was still there, but clearing up. Someone hadn’t turned the projector off this morning. Stress levels go up.

17:30 Garry Brotherstone arrives at church and says he’s going to be doing entirely his own songs- then says that he won’t want the words on screen, leaving me with nothing to do for the next hour. Play minesweeper for 45 minutes to destress.

18:15 Give up on intermediate minesweeper and stick the intimations up on screen. Wonder if the empty row of chairs might make a good kipping place for during church. Realise that this probably won’t go down too well, so bear it out on the really uncomfortable powerpoint chair.

18:45 Church is 15 minutes old, but worship consists solely of the guy singing and playing at the front. This is not a bad thing, but I’m really, really sleepy…

Approx 19:00 Fall asleep for about 5 minutes at the desk in the back. Wake up when the sound guy pokes me.

19:30 Church ends. I make light conversation with a few folk before going home to an empty flat and collapsing on the bed.

20:00 Realise I am hungry, make my tea, and realise that I should inflict my tales of today on the blogopshere. Thank you for reading….

EDIT: Maybe this doesn’t sound very stressful, but trust me, it was..

I’m pleased to say we have a new minister* ! It’s one of our old assistant ministers, who was extremely popular among the congregation at the time, for his enthusistic sermon style (we’ll need to reinforce the pulpit…), his kids’ talks (woe betide you if you were a child and supported Hearts) and that he did genuinely seem to care for the congregration (forgetting my name notwithstanding, and which isn’t to say the old minister didn’t care).

This is an exciting time for the church, and we are very pleased our prayers for a new minister* have been answered so quickly.

* Subject to a congregational vote on October 12th