Initial Conditions

I have lots of draft posts that I never get round to finishing or that I feel just aren’t good enough to be released in the public domain.

I’m not especially confident in myself that I can carry off some of the things I write about properly (and hence that’s why the vast majority of my posts are light-hearted), and hence a lot of my stuff gets left on the shelf to gather dust. I was going through them today and here’s a few highlights:

- a rant about people using a certain noun as a verb

- a nostalgic post about the town I used to live in

- a rant about gossip (which I pulled because I realised I was guilty too and it would have seemed highly hypocritical)

- various “woe-is-me” posts about crushes I had or just when I wasn’t feeling great

- a review of some books I had read, which had some of the worst spelling and grammar I’d ever written (I think I was ill when I wrote it)

- various complaints about tutoring (which I can’t put up or else I’ll “lose my privileges”)

- a ham-fisted, vaguely philosophical approach to mathematics

- a massive rant about the film Four Christmases which I removed because I found it impossible not to swear

- a discussion on what car I wanted when I passed my driving test (written before my first driving test.. twenty months ago)

- a moan about the Labour government (you see, I do a lot of complaining in private)

- a plea to the people of Northern Ireland not to return to the bad old days

- a post on the virtues of certain webcomics

- a post on relationships (of which I only wrote two lines before I realised I was supposed to be working)

- one of those “answer the questions” sort of posts that I found really tedious and didn’t want to subject the world to

- a review of my flatmate’s band’s gig. It was a good gig, but I don’t feel that my review did it justice

- a post describing how I ended up at the church I go to

You’ll realise that’s a lot, but I’ve accrued that over a couple of years. I might put some of these up in the future if I have the inclination to finish them or if time has rendered some of the rants amusing, or if you request any (but I have the right to refuse).

To leave you, here’s a quote from the start of the Four Christmases rant, as I think it’s quite funny:

You cannot understand how bad this film is unless you see it. But seeing it is not something I recommend to anyone who enjoys the cinema. This is such a vile piece of sentimental, unfunny, badly conceived, awful, vomit-inducing, self-indulgent tripe, that none of these words actually does justice to how grossly horrific it is. This is Vince Vaughn’s anti-Dodgeball. This is Reese Witherspoon’s anti-Walk the Line. You’ve got an Oscar for [crying out loud]! How could you do this to yourself? [....] I’m never watching another film without reading a review again.