Initial Conditions

I’m happy to report that on Friday I passed my UK driving test. For many, this is a pretty mundane thing that they just do once, pass, and carry on with their lives.

Unfortunately for me, this is not the case. I passed my theory test two summers ago, getting 100% in the process (if you ignore hazard perception, which of course one should never do), having high hopes that the licence would soon follow suit.  It did, but it took 22 months.

Two days ago this statistic really depressed me when I thought about it (but I didn’t do that often), but now I’ve passed, I can laugh (“something to tell the grandkids” is a phrase I like to use for such things) about the fact that I failed the practical test seven times. That’s the same as Maureen off Driving School (apologies if you don’t remember that show. do a search for “Maureen Driving School” if you want to know more)!

The reason I got so upset about it was that each time I failed, the thing that I did wrong was something new that I hadn’t done in a previous test and wasn’t really an issue when I was with my instructor:

1. The first test I hit a kerb reversing round a corner, and didn’t observe properly during a parallel park. It’s a fair cop.

2. The second I failed before I even left the car park. for some reason I decided to drive a bit too close to the guy who was leaving before me, and the examiner had to brake for me. After that, it all went to pieces and I ended up with five majors. Oops.

3. After a change of test centre, I did really well in my third test. Until I pulled over and forgot to switch my indicator off, pulled out again with it still on and had to be told that it was confusing everybody. Bah. This a week after they cancelled my original test because of a strike. That was not a good day.

4. I got two dangerous faults (that’s really bad) for emerging too hastily from a couple of junctions. The examiner told me to “go away and think about what I did”. No-one’s told me to do that for about 14 years.

5. Going on a roundabout when it wasn’t safe.. going too fast on a country road.. messing up a parallel park.. “You’re a good driver, you’re just a bit too nervous”.. thanks very much

6. ..but even with a new instructor, nothing changes. Missed a 30mph speed limit sign, had to be told to slow down, moved off when it wasn’t safe, that’ll be another £60 please Mr. Stothers..

7. Missed a 30mph speed limit sign, got told to slow down (spotting a theme?), only got two minors as well as the major. I’m not a violent man, but I really felt like punching somebody after that one.

8. Luckily the only punching I did was punching my details into the DSA website, for a test which I thought would be my last, irrespective of the result as I didn’t think I could handle the humiliation. Luckily, this time I passed with 8 minors, despite for some reason putting the car in reverse when I shouldn’t have, and driving at 30 in a 40 (because I missed a 40mph sign!). I guess it’s better than the obverse!

After that, I was relieved more than anything else, just because of the disappointment and humiliation it had caused (the money hurt as well.. I reckon I spent about £400 in tests alone), but then I realised that perseverance and hard graft can actually pay off.

So the reason I put all this stuff up here is just to say that if there’s anyone struggling with this or anything else, then it’s worth keeping at, if circumstances allow, because it will pay off eventually!

Of course, now I’ll stop haemorrhageing cash on lessons and maybe start haemorrhageing cash on insurance, road tax, petrol, and buying an actual car. But that’s for the future, for now, I’m just glad to have passed. Thanks to all who prayed!