Initial Conditions

I’ve been neglecting my blog recently apart from to plug things. Sorry about that.

Anyway, now the football season is over, I thought I’d do my own end-of season awards, some serious, some not. I’m not strictly sticking to England, but I will for the most part.

Player of the season: I imagine Ryan Giggs was picked largely for sentimental reasons and because there was no stand-out candidate in England, and I agree with that to an extent. Frank Lampard had a good season, I suppose. Special mention to Arshavin for helping out Specsavers FC* in the second half of the season, particularly for his goals against Merseyside Red.

Young player of the season: Steven Ireland. Come back and play for your country, you pillock.

Northern Ireland player of the season: While West Brom went down, they would have done so a lot earlier were it not for Brunt. Probably. Honourable mention to Steve Davis at Old Firm Blue.

Match of the season: It’s between the 4-4 between Spurs and Specsavers FC or the 4-4 between Merseyside Red and Specsavers FC. I’ll go for the former because it featured…

Goal of the season: David Bentley’s goal for Spurs against Specsavers FC. Honourable mention to Fernando Torres goal for Merseyside Red against Blackburn on the Hillsborough anniversary. (I resisted the temptation to put Iniesta’s goal for Barcelona against West London Blue, hilarious though it was).

Manager of the season: Tony Pulis of Stoke. Seems they weren’t dead certs for relegation after all, so there’s hope for Burnley next season.

Titus Bramble award for Comedy Moment of the season: Barcode FC owner downing a pint at the Emirates, caught on Match of the Day cameras. When questioned by the police (he wasn’t meant to drink it in the stadium as that’s not allowed) he said that “[he] thought it was non-alcoholic”. Classic. I was slightly spoiled for Newcastle stories….

Darren Anderton award for lameness: Bangor FC. “I know let’s spend lots of money to get into the new Irish Premier League, then decide we can’t be bothered and take voluntary relegation!”. Lame.

Worst punditry: Rafael Honigstein on Guardian Football Weekly suggested that the Champions League final would be “the most one-sided ever”. Well, it was pretty one-sided, but not to Man Utd as he predicted.

6-0-6 phone-in comment of the season: Tim Lovejoy had probably the most uncomfortable conversation of his life when Chelsea lost to Barcelona in the Champions League had some Welsh ring him and tell him he was a disgrace. You can find it here. Also, when England reserves beat Germany reserves in a friendly,he invited his audience to phone in “Is there any team better than England in the world right now?” and his audience immediately rang to tell him that Spain, Holland, Brazil, Italy, Argentina, France (debatable), Germany (though they’d just been beaten), Portugal, Russia (no evidence) and others all satisfied the sketchy criteria. Classic. Apparently he’s off for next season. What a shame.

Best TV coverage: BBC. But of course. Credit to Setanta started for airing a new comedy soap opera that went out on Saturdays and Sundays. I hope “Live SPL” continues next season.

It’s late so I’ll finish now, but if you have any of your own, please let me know!

*specsavers fc= arsenal