Initial Conditions

I found myself in another strange dilemma regarding items with slogans on them. Regular readers/ stalkers may recall that I once had a dilemma in BHS which went thus:

Is it okay to buy socks that say “World’s Greatest Dad” on them for yourself if they are the cheapest ones there?

Clearly, a Dad would not be wasting his, or anyone else’s, time by considering such a frivolity. However, I am a 24-year old bachelor and have much time to waste, and my decision was that it was not okay to do so, as such socks must be earned (by at least the bare minimum criterion that one is a father) and definitely not bought for oneself. Reluctantly, I bought some slightly more expensive Homer Simpson themed socks instead.

But lo, my troubles in this regard were not to end, as tonight, I was making some hot chocolate and to my horror, all the normal mugs were in the dishwasher. Remaining were but three. One we gave Dad when he turned 50, another that said “Mum” and another that said “Dad”.

I’m not eligible to drink from any of these!

I mused. I pondered the consequences of drinking from such mugs before the right time (thus making “Mum” an ineligible option), and wondered what Jesus would do.

Well, Jesus probably isn’t self conscious about whatever vessels He drinks out of, I realised. So I reached up and got the “50″ one. I couldn’t help but justify it to myself though, so I looked at it and noticed it didn’t say “years”, so I happily pretended it meant “months”. I earned that a long time ago.

But what would you do in such a situation?

EDIT: You may be wondering why I went all the way to BHS to buy socks. Because I certainly am.