Initial Conditions

I have lots of draft posts that I never get round to finishing or that I feel just aren’t good enough to be released in the public domain.

I’m not especially confident in myself that I can carry off some of the things I write about properly (and hence that’s why the vast majority of my posts are light-hearted), and hence a lot of my stuff gets left on the shelf to gather dust. I was going through them today and here’s a few highlights:

- a rant about people using a certain noun as a verb

- a nostalgic post about the town I used to live in

- a rant about gossip (which I pulled because I realised I was guilty too and it would have seemed highly hypocritical)

- various “woe-is-me” posts about crushes I had or just when I wasn’t feeling great

- a review of some books I had read, which had some of the worst spelling and grammar I’d ever written (I think I was ill when I wrote it)

- various complaints about tutoring (which I can’t put up or else I’ll “lose my privileges”)

- a ham-fisted, vaguely philosophical approach to mathematics

- a massive rant about the film Four Christmases which I removed because I found it impossible not to swear

- a discussion on what car I wanted when I passed my driving test (written before my first driving test.. twenty months ago)

- a moan about the Labour government (you see, I do a lot of complaining in private)

- a plea to the people of Northern Ireland not to return to the bad old days

- a post on the virtues of certain webcomics

- a post on relationships (of which I only wrote two lines before I realised I was supposed to be working)

- one of those “answer the questions” sort of posts that I found really tedious and didn’t want to subject the world to

- a review of my flatmate’s band’s gig. It was a good gig, but I don’t feel that my review did it justice

- a post describing how I ended up at the church I go to

You’ll realise that’s a lot, but I’ve accrued that over a couple of years. I might put some of these up in the future if I have the inclination to finish them or if time has rendered some of the rants amusing, or if you request any (but I have the right to refuse).

To leave you, here’s a quote from the start of the Four Christmases rant, as I think it’s quite funny:

You cannot understand how bad this film is unless you see it. But seeing it is not something I recommend to anyone who enjoys the cinema. This is such a vile piece of sentimental, unfunny, badly conceived, awful, vomit-inducing, self-indulgent tripe, that none of these words actually does justice to how grossly horrific it is. This is Vince Vaughn’s anti-Dodgeball. This is Reese Witherspoon’s anti-Walk the Line. You’ve got an Oscar for [crying out loud]! How could you do this to yourself? [....] I’m never watching another film without reading a review again.

1. I started playing rFactor again recently (it’s a racing simulator, and is thoroughly recommended), but I read the back of the box and noticed that a) the blurb on the back is written in Comic Sans (why??) and b) there’s a big red sticker on it that says

THE FUTURE OF RACESIMS

and, yes, I had to read that twice too.

2. I was at a wedding on the West coast yesterday, and everything was brilliant apart from us having one too many people for two cars (in order to get to a pub between times) and the fact that it seems to be midge breeding season. They were everywhere, and since it was really hot inside the reception venue, the choice was to be dry-roasted or eaten alive.

My arm here says it all

My left arm the morning after the wedding

Next time I go Westside I’ll pack the insect repellent. If it helps..

I took these photos at midnight on June 23rd/24th last year, because this year the weather wasn’t conducive to good photos. I just thought it was cool that the sun was visible in the North at this time of night (albeit aided by the hour for British Summer Time).

So yeah this is pretty cool, if you are from somewhere too far south to get midnight light, be very jealous! Or laugh at us if you’re in Norway.